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Post by Penny Matthews on Sept 29, 2009 12:11:23 GMT -5
Well, things were now heating up a little bit, that was for sure. Just a few moments ago they were both out on the pathway walking hand in hand and now... Now she was undo'ing James' belt while he had her pinned to a tree! Not that she minded, like at all but she was surprised that James was so ... up for it, so's to speak...
She was glad that James hadn't tried to stop her yet... She didn't want to feel too much like a slut, but then, she didn't want things to remain stationary either. She wanted their relationship to progress, she just felt that James probably needed that little bit of a push for her to do it...
Penny, after a moment or two of fumbling with the buckle, had managed to undo it completely, signalled by the jingle of the metal buckle as it fell from her hands.. She was about to go for the top button of his pants, when suddenly, James broke the passionate kiss, resting his forehead against hers. Damn.. too fast..
"Penny, I..." Instantly she raised her arms, away from his belt and held them up as if in a defensive position, "Im sorry... I'll stop.." She said just as breathlessly as James, though also sounding a little panicked. She really didn't want to mess things up. What if James now thought she was just some slut out for a cheap thrill? urgh, she felt kind of disgusted at herself. What exactly was she planning to do anyway? Shag him in the middle of the woods?! Well....
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Post by James Potter on Sept 29, 2009 19:19:56 GMT -5
"I'm sorry... I'll stop.."
James' brow furrowed as she drew away from him slightly. He hoped he didn't screw things up. Right then, he really didn't know what he wanted. Well, part of him knew what it wanted. This wasn't really how he thought it'd happen... here in the woods. Call him a hopeless romantic, but he wanted the event to be a little more momentous for her and himself. Especially since it would be his first time. I wonder if Penny... he thought. Stop, stop. Don't think about that, James.
But he couldn't help it, and the thought lingered in the back of his mind. His eyes swept over her face, while his expression was pure confusion. Oh bloody Merlin, he wanted her. Badly.
Feeling bad leaving her in silence, he said, "No, its not that," he paused. "I don't want you to stop. I mean... Merlin this is difficult. " James sighed as he pushed a piece of her hair out of her face. He was feeling like his old, shy self again. "I just don't think this would be the best time for..." James said slowly as his cheeks burned red. "But, that doesn't mean... we can't..."
Why was it so hard for him to talk about this? It was something natural and something he thought about quite often. Now that the time had come, James didn't feel ready. Well, he wasn't ready for crossing the finish line, but he would be okay with... alternatives. Actually he wasn't so sure about that either. James had no clue about girls or what they liked, but he knew that he wanted it to be special for Penny. He just hoped she wouldn't be pissed at him.
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Post by Penny Matthews on Sept 29, 2009 19:54:54 GMT -5
Penny looked at James, waiting for him to say something, anything to break the silence that was weighing down around them. Eventually Penny let out the breath of air that she only realised she was holding, when James finally spoke,
"No, its not that," Silence. Again. It felt like an hour had passed in the moment that it took for James to gather his thoughts, and Penny was beginning to feel a little emotional... "I don't want you to stop. I mean... Merlin this is difficult. " She closed her eyes breifly as she felt his touch along the side of her face, as he pushed a stray stand of hair back from her face. "I just don't think this would be the best time for..." Penny bit her lip and frowned a little at his words. She was a big fat slut... It was perfectly clear... "But, that doesn't mean... we can't..."
That was it, she just had to look away, she couldn't bare to look into his eyes any longer. she let out a small sad laugh and tried her hardest to fight the hot tears that were now threatening to spill from her eyes.. But she couldnt stop them. She looked down at her feet,
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have..." This was it, this was her messing things up... Just because she had done 'this' before.. well not exactly 'this' ... not in a forest anyway, didn't mean that James had, and he clearly either wasn't ready, or he just didn't want her, not like that. She felt her stomach lurch with anxiety as the thoughts passed through her mind...
She sniffled a little as she scrunched her eyes shut, making the tears rush hurridly from her eyes. She glared at the ground in silence, refusing to look up at James...
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Post by James Potter on Sept 29, 2009 20:16:46 GMT -5
When he had gone to the owlry that day, when he ran into Penny, when he brought her down here... he had no clue that it would end up like this. James stared down at her as she seemed to crumble. Holy hell girls were confusing. What had James done? He thought Penny would want to wait. Maybe she'd already been with someone else... so it was no big deal to her. Now it was him who was the biggest arse for upsetting her.
But what was he to do? Take her then and there on the dirty ground? That's what she wanted, wasn't it? What made matters worse was when she closed her eyes and a few tears gathered at the corners. Damn, he made her cry. His heart was beating rapidly again, this time from emotion overload. He didn't want to hurt her, but he did.
"Penny, I'm so sorry. I..." he stumbled with his words. James was at a loss. He had no idea how to fix this mess. He thought the best bet was to just be honest. Yet he was worried she wouldn't like what she heard. Or he'd make a fool of himself. "Its not that I don't want to. I do. Gods Penny I do..." he paused. "Its just I've never..." Another pause. "I thought it should be... you know... special... or something..."
James took one of his hands from her waist to run it through his hair. He sounded like a bumbling fool, more so than normal. He wondered how Penny even decided to put up with him.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Maybe I'm just scared..."
He felt like he could faint any moment. After years of keeping to himself and living an almost stagnant school life, the build up of emotions was hard to get used to. James didn't want to hurt her, he just wanted to hold her. But he wasn't sure if she even wanted him to now. The one hand that remained on her waist finally slipped away. His hands were now shoved into his pockets. He stayed standing close to her though. He wouldn't dare move.
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Post by Penny Matthews on Sept 29, 2009 21:01:48 GMT -5
"Penny, I'm so sorry. I... Its not that I don't want to. I do. Gods Penny I do..."
Hearing this, calmed Penny down slightly. So she wasn't just.. disgusting or whatever. He did want her like she wanted him... Bringing her hands up to her face, she wiped away some of the tears that had left her cheeks sparkling in the light between the trees...
"Its just I've never... I thought it should be... you know... special... or something..."
Her eyes finally lifted and met his, so he had never... not even... wow. Now she felt even worse, but she fought the renewed threat of more tears, biting her lip as James continued...
"I'm sorry," his voice was quiet now, making the sound of her shakey breathing all the more prominent, which she hated... "Maybe I'm just scared..." She felthis hand leave her waist, and she suddenly felt a chill of cold, where his hand had been...
"James you don't have to explain yourself..." She managed to say, though her voice was barely above a whisper for fear of it cracking through the emotion that was spilling out everywhere... She wiped her eyes again but they still seemed to be silently weeping against her wishes...
"It's just that, I like you, alot and I just got carried away and now I just feel horrible and cheap and urgh" she spilled out all her thoughts in one messy sentence, which was quite unlike the Ravenclaw, whose thoughts, though overly analytical, were usually very orderly and succinct. She held her arms out and looked down at herself with a somewhat disgusted expression. "I'm sorry.." She sighed, "Have I messed things up?" her breath caught again as she asked the question and she suddenly realised that she was falling rediculously hard for James Potter, and her stupid raging teenage hormones were telling her to say the L word, her lips were practically begging her too, but luckily her brain was still somewhat functioning...
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Post by James Potter on Sept 29, 2009 21:43:02 GMT -5
"Have I messed things up?"
Now it was Penny who felt like it was her fault. Girls were so confusing. James could barely understand what he was feeling. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for her. A pang of guilt shot through his stomach. He was the reason she was hurting.
"No, you didn't," he said softly. "Penny, you aren't... cheap. In no way, shape or form. And, um, its okay to get carried away." James tried his best to reassure her. He didn't want her to be upset anymore, and he hoped he was helping. His cheeks were a bit red again as he thought back to Penny getting carried away. James wished he wasn't so shy... he wished they could continue...
He took a tentative step closer to her, so that they were flush against one another again. His hands hesitantly made their way to rest on her upper arms. One continued up to the crook of her neck, pulling her into him again. All the words he couldn't find to say, he was speaking through his actions. He cared about her and didn't want to see her cry anymore.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make this weird." he said with a halfhearted chuckle. "Do you think maybe we could... try this again?" James looked into her eyes, still a bit teary, and asked for forgiveness... permission... anything really. He just wanted to kiss her again.
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Post by Penny Matthews on Sept 29, 2009 22:12:33 GMT -5
She listened as he told her she wasn't cheap, that her actions were okay... but ultimately it was her pushing things too far that had turned this amazing day into something less than nice...
Penny just didn't know what to do or say, she was stuck on her brink of tears, feeling a mixture of emotions as she leant back against the tree once more, folding her arms somewhat defensively. Then James stepped up to her once again, to their bodies were touching and almost at once she could feel that veil of lust float down over her eyes...
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make this weird." he said as he slid his hand up her arm, to rest aginst her neck and pulled her close. She responded instantly, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. resting the side of her head against his collarbone, her face just beneith his chin, she closed her eyes..."Do you think maybe we could... try this again?"
Sniffing quietly, Penny slowly lifted her head and looked James in the eye, She smiled some before leaning forward and gently letting their lips meet. Gods I hope this is what he meant... She thought as she kissed him tenderly for a few moments...
Finally she pulled away slightly and looked at James, into his big brown eyes... "James... I think I'm falling..." She almost whispered before taking a shakey breath.
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Post by James Potter on Sept 30, 2009 18:15:11 GMT -5
His face was written in so many different emotions: caring, nervous, concerned, anxious, eager. It felt like a million hours went by, waiting for Penny to say or do something. James was afraid she didn't want to try again. He was afraid he hurt her too much, even though he wasn't sure exactly how.
Just when he was about to give up hope, Penny got up on her toes and kissed him. James sighed, relieved, as he kissed her back. This time not hungrily, just affectionately. One of his hands found its way up to her face to cup her cheek. His thumb gently brushed away any remaining tears from under her eyes. It hurt him to know the tears were caused by him.
Parting from their kiss was difficult for James. Firstly, because he wasn't sure what he should say. Secondly, because he didn't know what Penny was going to say. As he tossed something around in his brain, Penny spoke up...
"James... I think I'm falling..."
His stomach was nearly turned inside out, and his heart had jumped up into his throat. Falling? Falling what? Where? His mind swirled frantically. His eyes darted to her feet, and she looked pretty stable on the ground. She wasn't falling over. Where was she falling? Was she about to say what he thinks she was going to say? James chewed the inside of his lip nervously and drew in a stifled breath.
"You're falling...?" he said with a slightly higher tone. It must have been from his sudden nervousness. Was she about to say...? No. She couldn't be. How could someone love James? He wasn't anything spectacular. He was just him. Just James.
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Post by Penny Matthews on Sept 30, 2009 18:37:11 GMT -5
As they kissed, she could feel James' hand reach up and rest against her cheek. It sent shivers down her spine and even more so as he gently wiped away any lingering tears from her cheek...
"You're falling...?"
Penny couldn't help but let out a small giggle as she watched him glance down at their feet, as if to check she wasn't literally falling over... Her expression movedback to something a little more serious as she gazed up at him, still without his glasses on, so she could appreciate all the different colours in his eyes better... "Yeah..." She said quietly, "I hope thats okay..." She laughed a little nervously for a moment. What if it actually wasn't okay? If James didn't feel the same way?
Not that she expected him to... Not yet anyway, and what was 'love' anyway? they were sixteen and seventeen year olds.. did they even know what love was? Shut up shut up.. who cares what other people think? Its how I feel that matters...
"I'm not asking you to say anything back to me..." she smiled a little, now having calmed down from her previous completely girly reaction to what had happened, "I just wanted to tell you... I want to tell you everything!" she giggled a little more strongly this time as her hand trailed along James' arm and eventually foiund his hand, where she entwined her fingers with his own...
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Post by James Potter on Oct 2, 2009 11:36:07 GMT -5
"Yeah... I hope that's okay..."
James felt sick. The butterflies he had were now bursting to get out of his stomach. Did she just say that? Well, she didn't say it, but she implied it. She loved him. Or was well on her way.
He wasn't sure sure what to say next. James felt strongly for her, and he felt this elated feeling inside him whenever she was around. The feeling grew even bigger when they kissed. Was this love?
"I'm not asking you to say anything back to me...I just wanted to tell you... I want to tell you everything!"
"Me... too..." James said softly in a stutter. He smiled as she entwined her fingers with his.
There was another breeze that finally whipped around them again, shaking the leaves in the trees. A few golden ones fell to the ground around them, a couple into Penny's hair. James gingerly picked them out for her, crinkling them to the ground. Autumn was his favorite time of year. It meant it was time for school again, and time for hot cocoa. James wrapped his arms around Penny, pulling her into a hug.
He looked down at her and smiled, before kissing her again. His hands were pressed against her back, holding her into him. Even though he couldn't find the words to tell her how he felt. He hoped he could show her somehow.
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Post by Penny Matthews on Oct 2, 2009 17:34:32 GMT -5
"Me... too..."
Me two what? me too he might love me? or me too he wants to tell me ... stuff? She giggled some at her thoughts over the oh so typical, cryptic response from James.
Suddenly there was a gust of wind again, whipping up their hair and blowing afew yellowing leaving into Penny's brunette locks, which James, carefully removed for her, before pulling her tightly into a hug and kissing her on the lips... She kissed him back, keeping her arms up close to her chest, so that his arms surrounded her, made her feel protected, safe...
They kissed, tentively, softly and Penny was right back where she wanted to be. All the prior anxiety melted away, and only a warm fluttery feeling in her stomach remained. Breaking from the kiss finally, she opened her eyes and looked into his, sighing some as she gingerly reached up and ran her fingers delicately over her cheek. "I am sorry, about before.." She said quietly. She didn't want it turn somehow turn into an issure someway along the line in their relationship...
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Post by James Potter on Oct 2, 2009 18:46:25 GMT -5
"I am sorry, about before..." she said, breaking the kiss.
James gave her a lazy smile. What were they upset about before? He could barely remember. Her kisses fogged up his mind so much, he could barely function sometimes. Now he remembered. It was because James was a git and wasn't ready for her to get into his pants. Why was he so... stupid? That's what he wanted more than anything, to be with Penny like that. He sighed. He'll figure himself out somehow. Hopefully soon...
"No, its okay. I'm sorry too," he said, pecking her on the lips again. "I'll, er, work on it." His cheeks got a little red. "I - I really want to, Penny." James gulped. You're fine James. She doesn't think you're a prat. he thought.
He gave her one more quick kiss before letting her out of his arms. James took her hand and lead her back out onto the path. It was just about dusk, and the sun was setting. The little bit of warmth was slowly disappearing. "Ready to go back in?" he asked, already leading them back towards the castle. A smile was bright on his face as they walked hand in hand down the path. With the little bout of awkwardness and anxiety forgotten, it had been such a perfect day. Such a perfect moment.
[Closed?]
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