Hello Again (James)

[Chasity Atherton]

It was fairly quiet in the courtyard when Chasity walked outside. It was a cool evening, with a slight breeze, and the stars were out. She was pretty sure that somewhere out there someone was looking up at those same stars with the person they loved, but not her. She was perpetually alone. Alone, she thought with a heavy sigh. She envisioned herself laying on the cobblestones, like now, only side-by-side and hand-in-hand with someone else. Funny thing was, the only person she could see in her head was James Potter. However, he had a girl; there were rumors everywhere about it. Granted the nastier ones were probably being spread by one of those hateful Slytherin girls. She hated those girls, she tolerated them only out of family loyalty. Their fathers were friends of her father, and their mothers were friends of her mother. She kept hoping that one day her parents would take into account how hard she tried to please them, and forget that she wasn't the son they had wanted and would never have.

Chasity turned her head and traced a shooting star across the barely moonlit sky, making an impulsive wish."I wish..." she whispered, only daring to think the rest. I wish James was here. She closed her eyes, with another sigh, tucking her hands under her head. Her father would hate it if she were to date a Gryffindor. But she wouldn't hate it.

[James Potter]

An event-less evening went by; his prefect duty was rather boring. No one was out causing trouble, wandering around where they shouldn't be. James sighed as he headed back to Gryffindor Tower. Tiredness just didn't seem to come to him. He paused in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"What are you dawdling for boy?" she said sleepily from her painting. "I've got some sleeping to do now."

James looked up at her wearily before turning around on his heal. "I guess I'll leave you be then," he said, his voice having a hint of sarcasm. In all honesty, it was a good excuse for him not to go to bed. James was no where near tired.

"Oh those dang Potter kids," he heard that Fat Lady mumble as he wandered down the steps. "Always out of bed and causing trouble." There was a small smirk playing on his lips as he finally got out of view from the old portrait to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady was always giving students a difficult time. Perhaps she was just bored.

James paused at the bottom of the stairs in the Entrance Hall. Not a single person in sight, which suddenly made him nervous. He could get caught passed his own curfew at any minute. Digging in his pocket he found his Marauder's Map and opened it up. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Tendrils of ink twirled out of the tip of his wand onto the ratty parchment revealing a detailed map of Hogwarts. James felt relieved to see that there really was no one around. All of the professors were in their rooms, and all of the students were in their dorms. He looked up from the map; something he saw out of the corner of his eye gave him a near heart attack. It ended up being just the ghost of the Grey Lady drifting by. Sighing in relief, James pressed on, wandering down the main corridor towards the courtyard.

Flipping through the pages of his map he saw a lone ink blot in the middle of the courtyard. Chasity Atherton was written on the little flag above the dot. There was a mix of shock and excitement pulsing through him for a moment. His feet were aching to move him forward, to go see why she was sitting there all alone at night passed her curfew. But a nervousness crept up on him. Not only for just being his usual shy self, but also because of what Penny would think if she knew they were out there alone... at night... with no one around. James was friends with Chasity though. There was nothing wrong with saying hello to a friend.

Gathering his courage, James headed in the direction of the courtyard. He checked the map one more time, saw that no one was coming, then folded it and put it away. His footsteps were quiet, and the light sound of the night breeze through the castle walls stifled the noise even more. James emerged on the far end of the grassy outlet, and searched for the dark silhouette of Chasity that should have been across from him. He continued on a bit puzzled.

The cool night was a refreshing change from the dank air in the school. It was also a gift, probably the last decent night of the year. James rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt and gray sweater of his Hogwarts uniform. His red and gold tie was undone and hung loosely around his neck, the ends lightly dancing in the wind. He adjusted his glasses once then pushed his hands into his pants pockets, a typical stance for him.

It was only a short amount of time before he rounded the outside of the cloister to where Chasity was... not standing, but laying. His feet padded out onto the dewy grass. Just as he approached her, he heard her start to speak. "You wish what?" James asked quietly as he emerged from the shadows. There was a curious smile on his face as he looked at her under the moon light.

[Chasity Atherton]

"You wish what?" came a familiar quiet voice. Chasity's eyes popped open, and her mouth dropped open as she looked up into the eyes of the object of her wish. "Huh?" her voice came out almost a squeak. It was late. Past curfew. No one should be out and about, especially the person that voice was attached to. He was a Prefect! But then again, so was she and she was out. Uh... err... Hi. Wish? No... I was just... The shooting star. It was... there. A deep blush colored her cheeks, hopefully it was too dark for him to see. How do explain to a new friend that you have a crush on him, and that you were secretly wishing that he was there with you? I am soooo glad I didn't say the rest of that out loud! she thought.

She sat up quickly and straightened her robes. It's late. What are you doing up? It would have been a reasonable question, except for the fact that he was the one who had found her out here. So, I heard you have a new girlfriend, she commented in what she hoped was a neutral tone. Some of the other Slytherin girls are saying she's after your fame. Or that you got her pregnant and are planning to get married. I assume neither of those rumors are accurate? A sarcastically raised eyebrow preceded her light laugh.

[James Potter]

For a moment, James felt bad for surprising Chasity like that, but then became thoroughly amused at her stuttering. He was curious as to what shew as going to wish for, but decided not to press the issue.

"It's late. What are you doing up?" she asked him. James smirked at the awkward question. Shouldn't he have been the one asking that? With a small chuckle he sat down on the grass next to her.

"Couldn't sleep," he answered simply. Lately James was having trouble sleeping, just because his mind wandered to thinking about Penny. He was about to ask her the same when she spoke again.

"So, I heard you have a new girlfriend. Some of the other Slytherin girls are saying she's after your fame. Or that you got her pregnant and are planning to get married. I assume neither of those rumors are accurate?"

James' eye nearly popped out of his head. He was used to rumors about him and his father, but this? Penny? After his fame? He hoped not. Pregnant?! No. No, no, no, no, no. That was just ridiculous. They hadn't even gotten that far yet... He scowled. James was really getting tired of people talking about him without even knowing him. And now they have Penny in the mix.

It took about a minute or two of silence for James' annoyance to ebb away. That was one of the downfalls of being a Gryffindor. His temper. It normally didn't come out too much. Just when he fought with his brother. Or if Malfoy provoked him enough. Or if he heard a ludicrous rumor like this one. James let out a deep sigh before speaking. "None of that is true." He was leaning away from her now, as if it was her fault. Sure he knew it wasn't, and he didn't want to kill the messenger, but she was the one who said it. And he was mad. His elbows rested on his knees, and he had his chin in his hands. James stared down at the grass; the tiny drops of dew reflecting the moonlight. He didn't mean to get upset, it was just a typical reaction of him. This was one of those times that he just didn't want to be James Potter anymore.

[Chasity Atherton]

Chasity discreetly observed Jame's simmering anger with interest. She hadn't mean to upset him at all, but perhaps she should have just kept her mouth shut. "James, I know none of that is true. If I had, would I have brought it up? Not likely." She reached out cautiously and laid her hand on his shoulder briefly before pulling away. "It will be fine. No one listens to them anyway. Everyone knows they lie, and... Are you mad at me?" she quietly demanded. She hoped he wasn't. They hadn't even known each other very long but she liked him a lot. It would be a profound loss for her to lose his friendship now. "I... should shut up now." She looked down at the grass, and frowned sadly.

She had a perfectly sculpted personality that everyone at Hogwarts saw, and he was crumbling that into sand. She had never shown her true self to another person, and was absolutely sure that only the Sorting Hat knew for a fact that she didn't truly belong to Slytherin house. It had tried to persuade to let down her defenses and be placed in Ravenclaw, or possibly Gryffindor. It had taken everything in her to decline and beg for Slytherin, only to please her parents. Maybe she could finally open her true self up to another person now. She desperately wanted that person to be James. "Can I tell you a secret about me? Something real and important?"

[James Potter]

It took him another long minute to shake off the feeling of anger. His temper always got him in trouble, especially with his parents. It was another reason he kept to himself often. He didn't like confrontation. And he just hated the feeling.

James was taken aback when she laid her hand on his shoulder. It was nice actually, comforting. He knew then that he was stupid to be upset. What got him thinking though was how real Chasity was being. All the years he'd observed her she seemed so different than now.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry," he sighed. His gaze turned to her face. She was withdrawing from him again, into her closed off self. He didn't want that. He wanted to see the real Chasity. "No, you don't need to shut up."

There was another awkward pause between them. He was unsure if she was going to say anything else, or if he should just leave. James was good at that... evading situations. But he decided to stay. He couldn't find the strength to leave her. James wanted her to know for sure that he wasn't mad at her.

"Can I tell you a secret about me? Something real and important?"

That was rather surprising. She wants to tell him something. A secret. No one tells James secrets. Its not that they didn't trust him, at least he hoped.

"You can tell me anything, Chasity."

[Chasity Atherton]

"I'm not this person," she began slowly, studying his face. "I'm not the cold-hearted Slytherin they all think I am. I'm not even truly a Slytherin, I don't think." Chasity ran her fingers through her hair, thinking of how to explain. "My whole life I've been pretending to be someone I'm not, to make my parents happy. When I was born, there were complications that prevented any future children. They wanted a son, not me. They hate me. I've always blamed myself, and tried so hard to be perfect. Tried to be what they wanted, even though I wasn't a son. The perfect grades, the perfect clothes, the perfect Slytherin. None of it mattered really, but I couldn't stop trying. All of my friends have been carefully chosen, always, based on how close their parents were to mine, even though I hate them all. I have been so mean, so mean, to so many people because my parents utterly detest Muggle-borns and "blood traitors". It doesn't matter to me, but I had to fake it." It was so hard to speak these words out loud when she rarely allowed herself to even think them. It felt like a release, a huge weight lifted. "The Sorting Hat didn't want to place me in Slytherin, it argued with me. It told me that there was nothing in me that Slytherin desired, and that Slytherin wasn't what I needed. I should have been a Ravenclaw, or a Gryffindor, it said. I begged my way in for them." She looked into his eyes, silently pleading for him to understand because no one else ever could. "Nothing changed though. They still hate me, they still ignore me, and I'm finally tired of trying to please them. I want to be me, but I didn't even know who I was until I met you. I just want to be Chasity..." She stopped and looked at the ground, wanting so badly for it to just open up and swallow her. She couldn't even fathom what James was thinking, and wasn't completely sure that she wanted to know. But for some unknown reason, she needed him to know this about her, to understand these things, and why she was that way. He was her first real friend.

[James Potter]

Never judge a book by its cover; that's what Aunt Hermione always said. When James first met Chasity, he judged her. She was a Slytherin, a cold hearted, mean person. Well, what he thought she was anyway. That was until he talked with her on the train. But still, there wasn't something right about her. She seemed so off all the time. Now that he listened to the sad story leave her mouth, he understood what it was all about.

James could empathize with her in a way. Not with his parents, but the people around him. They all wanted him to be some spectacular golden child with special abilities and endless knowledge of the most difficult magic. Well, James knew a little more than his peers. but he wasn't anything extraordinary. But sometimes, he would just put on that face. He was tired of letting people down. He was almost sure that's how Chasity was feeling. Except it was probably worse, because her parents never cared and never will. He sighed. James was so close with his family, he couldn't fathom what a life like that would be like... without a caring family.

That's went he kicked into 'big brother mode,' at least he liked to call it that. With all of the girls in his family and him being the oldest boy ( besides Teddy, the quasi-family ) he always felt like it was his job to be the protector. He wanted to protect his girls from anything that could possibly harm them. And now he realized it was time to protect Chasity, now that he knew who she really was.

Tentatively, his arm snaked around her back trying to comfort her. His hand gripped around her upper arm, kind of like a sideways hug, pulling her into him. He knew he might have been crossing boundaries, but big brother James was only thinking about helping. At least he hoped he was helping. James wasn't quite sure if she would allow for this kind of contact, but then she said "until I met you." That changed everything. Did he really have such a strong impact on her, to finally be herself? That was a big step to make. James was still trying to be free of his own qualms, too.

"I'm sorry, Chasity," was all he could say. He knew she probably didn't want to hear that, but he didn't know anything else to say to help her. He hoped his actions would make up for it. James wondered to himself if she had ever even been hugged before. The half hug seemed to be okay for then, he wasn't sure how she'd feel if he full out went for a real hug. Hell, he didn't know if he could either. James tried to push his awkwardness aside, because he had to be the strong one right now. But there in the back of his mind sat an image of Penny. He wasn't doing anything wrong, was he? Just comforting a friend.

[Chasity Atherton]

It briefly startled Chasity when James put his arm around her in that comforting gesture, but instead of pulling away quickly, she leaned into it, resting her head on his shoulder and putting her arm around him as well, somewhat awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Chasity," he said, simply. "Don't be," she replied, fighting the tears in her eyes. "You are my friend. You're probably the only person that has ever looked beyond they saw in me, the facade. I don't know if it was just because you try to see the good in all people, or if for some reason you just saw good in me, but I just wanted you to know the truth." The relief she felt now was overwhelming, and something else was there too, but it was unfamiliar. Trust.

Chasity had never trusted another person, at home or at Hogwarts. No one had ever given her reason to. She wasn't raised like that, to trust that someone will be there to pick you up when you fall, more likely that they'll watch you fall and giggle about it. But James was watching her fall right now, and he was holding her, not finding it amusing that the tough Slytherin had finally snapped and was losing all sense of reality. He was really there for her, unknowingly teaching her that it was okay to trust, that she wouldn't always be let down. The tears that had been collecting finally spilled as she sat there with him, grateful for his presence. It was strange for her to cry here, even though she wasn't sobbing and carrying on, and he probably hadn't noticed yet, but she never cried in front of other people. Only alone, in private, where it was safe.

[James Potter]

"Don't be. You are my friend. You're probably the only person that has ever looked beyond they saw in me, the facade. I don't know if it was just because you try to see the good in all people, or if for some reason you just saw good in me, but I just wanted you to know the truth."

James was relieved that Chasity didn't pull away from him. Instead she leaned into his arm and told him that he was a real friend to her. It made him feel better that he could help someone. He had always been the caring type. It was his job, being the oldest brother.

"Thanks Chasity," he said quietly, rubbing her arm. "I'm glad you can trust me. And really, you can tell me anything and I'll listen."

It was the truth. James had a natural ability to be a good listener. He liked putting his talent to good use, especially to those who need it most. Like Chasity. She sat there, tears streaming out of her eyes. Like an instinct, he reached up his other hand to wipe them away.

"I wish I could relate with you, you know, about your family," James said cautiously. "I just don't know what its like to be neglected like that." He sighed. "But from what I gather about my dad, its tough. He lived with his rotten aunt and uncle..."

James trailed off. He hated talking about his dad. Mostly because that's all people asked about. All he information people approached him with was always a lie too. Something crazy and extravagant that they read in something written by Isla Skeeter, the infamous Rita Skeeters daughter. He sighed as he glanced over at Chasity again.

[Chasity Atherton]

It didn't surprise Chasity that James was assuring her that she could trust him, she already knew that. She felt it. It did surprise her that he wiped away her tears. It seemed so intimate, though it was simple gesture. Her mind whirled around it. Kindness wasn't something that she was accustomed to, and so it never crossed her mind that it was just simple kindness. She barely heard what he said about his father through the muddled mess of her her thoughts.

She looked up at him, trying to figure out how to appropriately respond, but she had no idea. The only thing she wanted to do would be inappropriate, but she couldn't stop herself.She leaned closer to him and pressed her lips softly against his for a brief moment then pulled away slightly. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that..." she trailed off. She did know that she'd wanted to kiss him, but she needed to apologize because he hadn't wanted her to. He had a girlfriend, and she was pretty, smart, funny, and nice, everyone said so Chasity knew that she didn't compare to that. Maybe that's what she was really apologizing for, not to him but to herself, for not being someone that James would want to be with. She was simply sending herself down a path that could not logically end in happiness for her.

[James Potter]

It seemed she was contemplating something, so James just stayed quiet. Perhaps she was going to tell him something else important. Instead, utter shock came over him as she started leaning in. He didn't have enough time to think or react before she kissed him. His eyes stayed wide open in disbelief for a moment before he closed them. It was just a reaction he had when being kissed. And for a second he thought he might have enjoyed it...

James blinked a few times when she parted from him, feeling sick to his stomach. And guilty. What was that all about? Hell, what was Penny going to say? She wasn't going to find out. No. Never. He took a deep breath and stared at the ground.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that..."

"I... don't know why you did that either," he said plainly, still looking down. Finally after a few more deep breaths, he looked up at her. "Chas, I have a girlfriend... I'm sorry but... I just can't... " James felt horrible. He cared about Chasity, as a friend, and he wanted her to be happy. Unfortunately, judging by her actions, she wanted to be with him, and he was already taken. James really cared about Penny, nothing would change that.

James took off his glasses to rub his eyes and run a hand through his hair. He glanced back over to Chasity and bit his lip. James sure was the king of awkward moments, but it was weird to not be the cause of it this time. "Don't worry about anything," he added quietly. "I won't... tell anyone. If you won't..."

[Chasity Atherton]

She nodded, looking at the ground. I know, I know you do. I'm so sorry I did that, I just... she whispered. She was so confused about her feelings toward him, and much more angry with herself for messing things up with James. I won't tell anyone either. She looked up at him in anguish. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone now. She stood up quickly and walked toward the castle, fresh tears streaming down her face. If only James wasn't with Penny... If only she were someone that he could love... If only she'd never met him... The half finished thoughts jumbled through her mind as she tried to get away from the pain, tried to hide inside herself like she usually did. A sob burst through and she hoped futilely that he hadn't heard it. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run away, she wanted to take it all back, but it was too late.

She remembered earlier, when he'd caught her making a wish on that shooting star, startling her and fulfilling her wish at the same time. Pausing, without turning back to him, she whispered, I was wishing for you, James. You asked what my wish was. I was wishing for you...

[James Potter]

"I know, I know you do. I'm so sorry I did that, I just... I won't tell anyone either. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone now." she said getting up quickly and walking towards the castle.

Everything happened too quickly for James to really grasp what happened. His mind was still thinking about why she kissed him, and why it kind of felt nice. Also, he had no idea what to do about Penny. He definitely couldn't tell her. He was more worried about if she found out. Of course the only people who knew they kissed were the two involved. Hopefully Chasity wouldn't say anything.

When he came out of his thoughts, he saw Chasity hurrying off in the shadows to go back inside. Just when he thought about jumping up to get to her, he saw her stop in mid stride.

"I was wishing for you, James. You asked what my wish was. I was wishing for you..." she said barely audible to him.

Him? She wished for him? But... why? Well, it was all starting to make sense now. She wished for him... she kissed him... she told him her secrets. It was an odd feeling for James. Not many girls liked him like that. He was still having trouble admitting the fact that Penny was head over heals for him. Now he may have another girl pining for him. And not just because he was famous.

"I..." he started, not knowing what to say at all. "I'm sorry I can't make your wish come true..." James felt terrible. He could only imagine how she must feel. The only way he could fix it, was the only thing he couldn't do.